Arranged Marriage is Unfair
Arranged marriage was very popular in those days especially in our Malaysian culture. However, there are still some people practising it in the recent days. It is a real issue that takes place around us. In my opinion, I disagree with arranged marriage because of some reasons. I think arranged marriage has more disadvantages compared to the advantages. When talking about arranged marriage, the daughters have to be obedient, they could not befriend with guys, the dowry was set by the parents and the parents being unfair as the daughters could not see or talk with the guy they engaged to. The most important issue about the arranged marriage in both stories “A Question of Dowry” and “Everything’s Arranged” is it destroys the children’s dream.
Usually, the bride suffers more compared to the groom in the arranged marriage. This is because the daughter would have no say at all. They have to agree on what have been planned for them. Moreover, they were not allowed to choose the guy that they wish to be lived with. Even though the mother shows the picture of the husband to be, they are not necessarily match with each other. In the story “A Question of Dowry”, Sivasothie was engaged with a man of her parents’ choice. There were no statements from Siva saying about her feeling towards the engagement. It was Mrs. Ramachandran who was very excited with the daughter’s engagement. We can see the same situation applied in “Everything’s Arranged” too whereby Rukumani’s parents had arranged her engagement with a guy whom she did not know since she was a small kid. The truth was revealed when she was a grown up woman and she already has a man of her choice.
Arranged marriage also is bad in term of stopping the daughter to befriend with the boys. The parents will not allow the daughter to have male friends as they really want to ‘preserve’ their daughter. As for an example, Rukumani in “Everything’s Arranged” was scolded when her mother knew that she has male friends at the university. Mr. Sambanthan, Rukumanis’ father also acted the same upon knowing that she befriended with the boys. The parents asked her so many questions for the boys but at last they decided to break the engagement because Rukumani has already being in love with Devanayagam, the boy that was actually Rukumani’s ‘fiancé’. They could not accept the truth even though Rukumani tried to explain to her parents that they had done nothing. However, in “A Question of Dowry”, there were no mentions of Siva befriended with guy which we can assume that her parents could have done the same to her too like what had happened to Rukumani.
One more thing I found arranged marriage is unfair because the daughters in both stories did not have the chance to know their fiancé as the parents prevent them to do so. In ‘A Question of Dowry”, Siva was asked to serve the best for her fiancé, Thiruchelvam when he came to their home one day. Even though she was asked to dress nicely but there were no conversation took place between the two of them. Only Mrs. Ramachandran had the conversation with the future son-in-law as she said, “Please sit down and I’ll get Sivasothie to fetch you a drink. Do taste some muruku. They’re newly-made and crisp-Sivasothie is so clever-but of course”. Rukumani faced a worse situation as she did not even know she was engaged with someone she did not know. Siva was luckier as she already knew how the fiancé looks like. Engagement is actually the time for the future bride and groom to know each other well before they are married. So, if they could not see or talk to each other, it is very unfair for them as it is not their parents who will have the future life with the fiancé.
In addition, arranged marriage can easily be related to the amount of dowry. Parents usually demand a great amount of dowry as they feel that their children are the best. At last, we can see that the dowry became a burden for the family and it troubles the bride’s family. In “A Question of Dowry”, Mr. and Mrs. Ramachandran have no other way than selling their only piece of land to support the dowry of their daughter. However, things became more complicated as the land will cost least than what they expected by selling it as can be found in the text, “About the land, I’m afraid it is impossible to sell it at a quarter of its former price. You see, water has been seeing out from some well for about ten years, and so the land is now too marshy for house-holding. Unless we were to drain it, no one would buy it at our sum”. In order to make sure that their daughter will have a bright life, they are the persons who suffer the most. Mrs. Sambanthan in “Everything’s Arranged” had to increase the amount of the dowry after she made the decision to stop her daughter to continue her study. Because the groom will be more educated than the bride, the bride’s family are responsible to give more according to the groom’s qualification. We can see in both stories that arrange marriage really gives trouble to the bride’s family as they have to do everything to ensure their daughters will be happy in their future life.
Arranged marriage destroyed ones dream. This statement can be closely related to Rukumani in “Everything’s Arranged”. Rukumani has to forget finishing her study when she was asked by the parents to do so. The parents were very afraid of Rukumani doing something bad behind them. They were sceptical of Rukumani’s friends when the friends came to her house. Even though they did not do anything wrong, the mother kept on blaming Rukumani for being so “shameless” as can be seen in her statement “Your father will know how shameless you are. Passing love-letters to boy friends”. As for the punishment, she was not allowed to finish her study yet she did not marry Devanayagam because the parents claimed that she should not fall in love with him as he was already her fiancé. Rukumani is the one who did not get the benefit at all. As for Siva, she did not say anything about her relationship or marriage but because her father was so concerned about the dowry, the marriage was too far from her. We can see this when Thiruchelvam came to their house and discussed about the dowry, he seemed to be upset upon knowing that the devalued land. At the end of the story, Mrs. Ramachandran in less hope said to her husband “Well’, commented Mrs. Ramachandran stoically, there’s more than one doctor in our community, and it’s up to you, Ramachandran, to do your duty as a father.” Suggesting to find other man for their daughter.
In conclusion, arranged marriage is no longer relevant in recent days. Children nowadays are more educated and they can choose their own spouses but with the permission of their parents. After all, children will have to refer to their parents before making the biggest decision in their life. Parents can guide their children in choosing the right person to be with but to arrange them to be married to someone they admire is so yesterday. The choice is in the children’s hand as they are the person who is going to live with their spouse until they die.
